purses

September 2012 hideous handbag

Hideous Handbags: September 2012

This month’s bag comes from a discount store. Which means that at one point, it was in a fancy department store. Probably next to the mother of the bride dresses. That’s all I have to say.

Really. This little number speaks for itself.

September 2012 hideous handbag

Normally, a little sparkle is a good thing. Alas, not here.

You people are holding out on me–I know that you’re stumbling across  tremendously ugly purses. AND THAT YOU’RE NOT SENDING PHOTOS. Sometimes, we need to bond over shared monstrosities. You know what I mean. Email photos of the most wretched purses you encounter to jenn@powderkegcompacts.com.

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reptile _purse2

Hideous Handbags: June ’12 episode

On the first Sunday of each month, we’ll reflect on hideous handbags… we began our critique last month with this gaudy number.  You remember.

As a refresher, here are the guidelines: vintage, modern, large, small, formal, casual…the bag need only meet two criteria.

1. It must be some form of bag. Whether you call it a purse, pocketbook, tote, or clutch, as long as it’s a bag, it qualifies.

2. It must be ugly.

Bernadette and I stumbled across three atrocities a few weeks ago while prepping for our adventure at the car show at Ralph’s Diner. While we did encouter several lovely vintage bags, one of which I bought and may keep for myself, despite my original plan to resell it, these vintage creations are anything but lovely:

furry purse

Some kind of fake fur purse that resembles no living animal, but reminds me a great deal of Fozzy Bear, Yes, the Muppet.

Wouldn’t real fur look so much nicer? Or at least more realistic-looking fake fur?

Oh. Wait…

reptile purse

I’m all for the alligator purse, but this seems to be taking it a little too far. Maybe even a lot too far. Creepy.

Nope. The real animal hide is creepy, not classy. At least in this case.

Know what’s even creepier? That we saw two of these purses. In the same antiques shop.

reptile _purse2

That’s not just a different angle – it’s a different bag. Really.

We were repulsed enough by the first one – the second one practically sent us over the edge. So, that’s the review of this month’s hideous handbags. Remember, every month we’ll explore new fantastically ugly bags. And you can get in on the commentary–just email photos of the bag to jenn@powderkegcompacts.com along with a brief editorial on its flaws.

If it’s too wretched for words, just send me photos of any fantastically disastrous bags you come across. The Powder Keg does not take holiday breaks: tune in next month for another post on hideous handbags.

May 2012 Hideous Handbag

Hideous Handbags: a new series

One of the hallmarks of the fashion icon: a tasteful, stylish handbag. It would seem simple to get that right.

But alas, so many bags stray so far from the boundaries of good taste that I can’t bite my tongue any more. On the first Sunday of each month, we’ll reflect on hideous handbags. Vintage, modern, large, small, formal, casual…the bag need only meet two criteria.

1. It must be some form of bag. Whether you call it a purse, pocketbook, tote, or clutch, as long as it’s a bag, it qualifies.

2. It must be ugly.

While I’ll start the conversation, reader submissions are welcome. Email photos of the bag to jenn@powderkegcompacts.com along with a brief editorial on its flaws. I’ll incorporate your submission into the following month’s Hideous Handbags post. Thanks for your contributions.

Our inaugural entry:

May 2012 Hideous Handbag

The inaugural hideous handbag. I will try to find words to describe why this is wrong.

This gold might be fine on a smaller scale, but in a gargantuan purse, it’s overwhelming. I’ll bet the gal who carries this could land aircraft with it on a sunny day. In addition to the main gold, we’ve also got the gold Flavor Flav-style medallion hanging off the handle on the right and some other gold frilliness strapped to the left side of this beast. Neutral straps can only go so far in attempting to convey good taste. In this case, not far enough.

I also can’t decide if it’s supposed to belong to a stripper or a granny from Boca.

Enough. Back to the realms of tasteful vintage.

In the meantime, send me photos of any fantastically disastrous bags you come across, and tune in next month for another post on hideous handbags.